More than a few of you know how disturbing/odd my formative years where. However, last night Andy and I were having this discussion about how many people I have either seen die or knew that died.
Short list to follow:
+Girl on train tracks. I cannot remember her name. We were sitting in traffic at a crossing light and some how this girls bike had either gotten stuck in the rails or something but the train hit and drug her body for quite a ways. Everyone on both sides of the crossing bars saw this happen. This was Indiana. I keep trying to find info on this but I can't. It drives me crazy that I saw it but have no memory of who she was.
+Man has heart attack while driving car. I was with my mom and behind a few cars back on the road. I never knew which killed him. The heart attack of the car wreck. This was in N.C.
+Halloween one year a kid ran across the street in front of our house and a car hit and killed him. Indiana.
+Weirder still...A Few years later one night my grandpa and his friend were driving back from some accounting thing at Ball State. My grandpa's friend was driving and did not see a state police officer had a car pulled over. The man hit and killed the police officer. Turned out this was the father of the kid hit and killed on Halloween
+Third day of my senior year in high school, while waiting for traffic to slow on 67, which ran in front in my school, those of you who went to rural highschools are familiar with this set-up, the kids in front of us pulled out and were hit by a semi. Their car flipped about 8 times and all of them were killed. I think most of them were sophomores and one girl was pregnant.
+This one is the hardest. Every school has a kid that is picked on for being poor and dirty. Our kid was David. He was 2 grades behind and no matter how many times I was moved from Indiana to NC David remained the kid to pick on in the Indiana town I lived in. Armpit of hell as I call it. I mean people were so cruel to him it was just sickening. I remember one day I yelled at this kid to shup up and to leave David alone which then started those cruel, ridiculous rumors and jokes of Jennifer is in love with David. This made me mad that I had tried to defend this kid and I got shit for it. I had my own poor dirty girl issues so I stopped bothering with him. And it never seemed like he did anything to defend himself either. Anyway. Fast foward until I'm like 13. Somehow David ended up on a train trellis, yet another rural Indiana-ism, he fell through and died. A group of town hoodlums reported finding the body. Which caused much speculation just how he got up there in the first place. Knowing the kids who found him I have always believed they chased him...Or some variation of threatening him. I happened to be living with my grandma while my mom was out on one of her moods and my grandma made me go to the funeral b/c she knew David's grandmother. Either that or I just really really had to see him. Even before David died he just gave off this is energy that he was already empty so I remember thinking it was normal that he died so young. I was incedibly creeped out about the movie Stand By Me. To this day I refuse to watch it.
I know this is all really morbid. But this is the kind of shit I wonder about. Why did these things happen, why was I there, why did I know them, why can't I forget them, have they had an impact on how I "see"/"feel" things?