Thursday, June 18, 2009

This always happens when I listen to too much Amanda Palmer.

Andy and I dropped my friend Heather off the other day at the airport. Lucky her gets to go to San Francisco and visit with our Queer Crew and shop at Kate Spade.


Andy and I then decide we want some good comfort food. So we go for biscuits and gravy and other assorted junk. I then decide to order strawberry shortcake A)b/c I thought Andy was going to share it with me and B)I didn't realize it was going to be a huge portion.

As the waitress sits it on our table this couple in their 60's kinda like point at me and then shake their heads. The man continues to stare at me, nudges his wife repeatedly to look back at me and then they both just stare and stare. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I am trying to not let this bother me. But it does. Mostly for the blatant stupidity of it. They could look at me and just assume I am some lard-ass who is a medical burden on society and there I am! Just shoveling more food down my throat. I mean I could be a burn victim, paraplegic, pedophile and all anyone would notice is that I am fat. Or care about for that matter.

Nevermind the fact I swim 4 days a week and dance two days a week as well. However, with being overweight people just assume you're lazy.

This happened Tuesday and I am still annoyed by it. Those people have probably long forgotten me. So why haven't I forgotten them?

I think b/c awhile ago I would have marched over to their table and told them off. Now I let it simmer in my brain that they may be right.


  1. I read this when you first posted it but decided to chew on it for a second before I responded because it made me too angry. I still don't really have words, but it just makes me sick the way some people behave. Not only did it make YOU have to think about it for who knows how long, if you'll ever even forget it at all (I doubt it), but it also put you in a position where you felt like you almost had to justify it (that you had expected to share it, no idea the size etc.). I don't know... reading this just broke my heart. I know you aren't out for pity or anything like that so I'll spare you, but it's people like that... AH! I just want to go up to them and shake them.

    I had what ultimately turned out to be a completely catastrophic relationship with someone who did leave me with one magnificent tidbit once- I was making bad jokes, and he freaked out on me. He yelled, "How can you be so fucking insensitive? How do you know that the girl you just said that about didn't just lose her mother, or find out she has cancer or something? You have no right to judge anybody- for one, you are nowhere near perfect. But most important, smart as you think you may be, even you can't tell what anybody else is going through. People have their own struggles. Just leave them the fuck alone."

    It stemmed from a deeply rooted personal issue, I lately learned, but longggg after our breakup, those little pearls stuck with me. Of course those people didn't realize what they were putting through your head, nor the time you spend worrying about it (or being annoyed or whatever).

  2. **I am sorry that happened though. I'm sorry for the trouble.

    I think you're super hot :) I wish we could have swim exercise class together!

  3. Yes. This is exactly it. We never know what someone else is going through. Which isn't to say I never make catty jokes or what have you. I just get tired of having other people's bullshit issues with weight taken out on me. The funny thing is I worked with a girl who was super, super thin and people constantly gave her crap about being anorexic. She wasn' any stretch of the imagination. We shared an office. She ate all the time! That's just how she was made. But until I met her I didn't realize how much of an issue that can be for people too.

    Of all the things people could invest their energy in weight seems to be the first thing people will make their business...which it isn't. It's a personal issue. Sadly fat just = shame. No matter what. Even if you aren't're supposed to be ashamed of not being ashamed. Like just go buy your Tweety Bird sweatshirt and stretch pants from Wal-Mart and hide inside.

    People never really understand the damage they can cause or reinforce with fat and/or body image jokes.